Gunny Walker

  I remember one time when James and I were leaving the break room, we stopped by the restroom. It's was tradition to hit the john before you go back to work. (Yes, ladies sometimes we go together as well.) There were three stalls one of which was occupied. Well, when James walked up to the urinals he was not clearly choosing one or the other thereby hindering my choice. I said to him, "Come on man, left or right. You can't use both."
  He came back with, "I could if I were a possum."
  I said, "Ah yes, the mighty opossum."
  Then I thought, this guy next to me must think that we are strange. I mean we just made an inside joke about possums. I wondered how I could prevent that. Then it occurred to me. Be friendly. It seemed natural to me. Maybe if I said hello, then I wouldn't seem like such a stranger. After all, he was a fellow Wal-Mart employee just like me. I looked over and said, "Hey, how's it goin?"
  He mumbled out a fine and rushed out of the bathroom without washing his hand. After I left the bathroom, I turned to catch James bent over and laughing. Ken was walking by and asked what was so funny. James recanted the story and we still have a good laugh about it today.
  The lesson here is that it's not a good time to talk to complete strangers in the bathroom. Even though, I talked to a complete stranger at Rocky Horror without any ill effects. Except for the pondering afterwards that I probably shouldn't have done that at RHPS. And being creeped out later by realizing there wasn't a wall.

  I don't really have much to say, so I thought that I would post a passage from Terry Pratchett's The Last Continent. If you are familiar with Discworld novels, skip the next paragraph.
  Discworld is a world that rides on the back of four elephants, who stand on the back of a giant turtle. This is the story of Rincewind, the world's most useless magician. Rincewind winds up on a mysterious continent that never seems to get rain and has danger everywhere. Still, no worries. He has inadvertently upset the natural order of things in this unnatural continent and has to set them right.

 This was Rincewind after several months: his wizardly robe was quite short now. Bits had been torn off or used as string or, after some particularly resistant hors d'oeuvres, as bandages. It showed his knees, and wizards are nowhere near champion standard at knees. They tend to appear, as the book might put it, a knobbly savage.
  But he'd kept his hat. He'd woven a new wide brim for it, and he'd had to restore the crown once or twice with fresh bits of robe, and most of the sequins had been replaced with bits of shell stitched on with grass, but it was still his hat, the same old hat. A wizard without a hat was just a sad man with a suspicious taste in clothes. A wizard without a hat wasn't anyone.

  I read that the other day and thought, "That's going on the blog." It's the really corny jokes why I like Pratchett so much. To find out how Rincewind wound up on the mysterious continent known only as XXXX, then you need to read Interesting Times. Which of course is built on the back of Eric. Which is of course, built on the back of...
  Look, no one will get mad if you start in the middle. I started there.

  I work in the calendar section at my job, but some times it feels like Los Alamos. I have to clock in when I get there. I then sign in on a sheet at the guard's station. Then I fill out a time sheet. When I arrive at my work station, I have to sign in there as well. I also have to sign out and sign into the new work station if transferred. When I leave for the day, they check any articles to make sure that I am not sneaking anything out.
  I go through all that for good reason. It's not just theft. It's corporate piracy. When the press finds out that you are an employee of Borders Group Incorporated, they will hound you to no end. They want to know what are the new calendars coming out in the next year? Will the Dave Barry calendar be as funny as the "Great Dave Barry Calendar of 2002?" Will there in fact be a poodle calendar next year?
  Oh how I would love to divulge this information. It says to me that life is good and worth living if only for six more months. Just wait until you see the SI Swimsuit calendar. No, I can't tell you what's on the cover. You'll have to wait to find out for yourself. All I can say is that the photo brings joy and happiness into "The Simple Life." My first thouoght when I saw it was "That's Hot."
  No, I am not allowed to divulge the publishing information of Borders Group Incorporated. Please pressure me no longer. I signed an agreement. I didn't read the fine print, but my soul may be hanging in the balance here. So you'll have to carry on without knowing. Waiting, anticipating, even yearning for these next five months to see if there will indeed be a poodle calendar.
  (I'm sorry, I think that I have been working far to hard this week. The whole security thing at work struck me as funny. They check the lunch bags on the way out, but leave the bay doors open because it's so darn hot. What's to keep me from throwing something out there and picking it up later?)

  I've been watching Headline News where they just showed a clip about the attempted bombers in London. (Related story.) The thing is that the HN clip is showing that they used a dark bag and some sort of container. Then the man on the clip holds up an example of the container. He says that it is made in India and is available in about 100 stores throughout London. The thing is that a manufacturer can't be happy about having their product associated with terrorists.
  Of course, it may be a great marketing angle if your container was strong enough to hold in a bomb. (Okay, that was in bad taste, but I couldn't resist.)
  The state watches my spending habits on Advil Cold and Sinus because of the meth dealers. I have to show an ID to buy rubber cement because of the huffers. Am I going to have to get a background check to buy a Tupperware container soon?
  It's amazing what people can figure out. If these people could put their minds to world peace, we'd have it by now.

  I was reading a story on Fark about a type of air conditioner that a couple of kids were working on perfecting. They had claimed that they found a way to make some old, inefficient AC method more efficient. It also eliminates Freon which helps the environment.
  I decided to check out the comments. I didn't understand how it works by reading the article. I hoped that someone in the comment section might explain it.
  Of course, a comment occurs at "2005-07-21 06:43:23 PM" that really sticks on my craw. You can look it up if you like. It says, "How sad that some people openly prefer a jap car over an American car." Of course, as a driver of a "Jap car" this irks me greatly. A lot of "Jap cars" are made here in America. Of course, the reason that I want a "Jap car" is that I get great gas mileage. I get 36 miles per gallon even with the AC on and an automatic transmission. The closest to that is the Chevy Aveo at 35 mpg. (Of course, that's the estimate. They never seem to get what they advertise.) Of course, all that Detroit ever pushes is bigger and faster. Even when they make a hybrid, it turns out to be an SUV. The Ford Escape Hybrid gets 36 mpg highway. That means that it still gets worse gas mileage than my non-hybrid car.
  So because of this "Jap car" comment, I'd like to play a little game. See of you can guess how many of the following cars are made by the "Big 3."
  Ford, Saturn, Buick, Maybach, Jaguar, Mercedes-Benz, Cadillac, Smart, Lincoln, Dodge, Chevrolet, Chrysler, Land Rover, Jeep, GMC, Freightliner, Aston Martin, Mitsubishi, Hummer, Mazda, Oldsmobile, Volvo, Pontiac, Mercury, and/or Saab.
  Of course, I think that the "Big 3" should be called as the "Big Two And A Half." After all, one of them isn't all-American anymore. I only included the names above that I could recognize. I didn't include cars sold in other countries. I also didn't include partnerships. Like the fact that Chevrolet started using Isuzu four cylinders in the mid eighties in their S-10's.
  So how many of those cars are made by the Big Three? All of them.
  Buy American. Buy a Mazda. Or a Saab.

  Do you know what ticks me off? Rule 2520. It says that if I day trade with less than 25,000 dollars then I get some of my privileges taken away. I lose my margin rights. Margin is not a butter substitute. Margin is money that my broker will loan me to play with. If I lose then I pay them what I lost. If I gain, then I only pay back what I borrowed. (Plus a small interest amount.) Of course, since I would be using it to day trade, then I wouldn't pay any interest on it. (I think.) I'm not sure. Anyway, you can't day trade on less than 25,000 dollars. If you do, then you lose your margin privileges. Basically, your broker will loan you double your amount. If you have 5,000 dollars, they will loan you 5,000 more.
  Unless you have 25,000 dollars in your account. Then you get quadruple margin. They will loan you 75,000 dollars. Thereby making it possible to lose/make your money faster than if you only had 24,000 dollars in your account.
  That rule 2520, really ticks me off. I could do some damage if I could only keep my margin rights. I think that I could get one percent a week on my money. Maybe more. I guess that I just have to wait longer then. I'll have to build up some more money. Just when I think that I am at a point that I can really kick some butt at trading, something happens that makes me realize that I can't. Oh well, at least it makes me save money.
  I guess that I will buy more tax deeds.
  And speaking of tax deeds, I have a court date concerning the house that I lost coming up next week. The county filed a court date to give my money back. (It seems that I have to go to court to get anything done nowadays.) They actually volunteered to pay me interest. The problem is that they miscalculated the starting amount. So basically, I get my money back. If I can actually file a response this time (Last time I couldn't.), my attorney is going to file to get the 500 dollars difference corrected. That means that I will have been paid 500 in interest. About 9 percent of my investment.
  Of course, the thing is that I am not counting my attorney fees which will over 600 dollars. (That   I can take off of my taxes.)

  Gunny is tired. Gunny just finished first night at new job. It has been too long since Gunny did manual labor. Gunny misses the old job where if the work was finished early, they would just play poker. Gunny does not miss the pay. Gunny only stuck with that job hoping that he could learn to drive the drive the cherry picker. Gunny should have hijacked the cherry picker instead of learning how to play Texas hold em'.
  Gunny is one tired little cow poke. Gunny is too tired to poke cow though. Gunny is too tired to poke salad. Gunny never too tired to poke fun. However, Gunny is to tired to be funny.
  Imagine an eight hour shift where Gunny gets to pack boxes with calendars. Gunny gets to walk up and down the conveyor belt this whole time. Gunny had to pick calendars for particular locations. When Gunny's crew finished their lists, they were moved to a different line to pick more orders. After eight hours, they ran out of orders. Then Gunny and his co-workers cleaned for two hours. At least, Gunny got to sit down while he was opening boxes of calendars for another line.
  Gunny had to rest before taking a shower. Gunny was too tired to poop. Gunny is two fisted drinking cranberry juice and big glass of water. Gunny is afraid that big glass of water alone will make Gunny sick. Gunny was too tired wash feet. Gunny will wash feet special when he wakes up. Gunny will also shave if arms are not to sore to reach the back of Gunny's head.
  But most importantly, Gunny is too tired to talk in first person. Gunny can not conjugate when he tired. (No matter how cute the cow is.)

  I just finished watching a couple of vids from Netflix. I watched The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. It's a silent, German film from 1920. It's the story of a sideshow act in which Caligari travels with and shows off his somnambulist. After the somnambulist correctly predicts the death of his friend, Alan suspects that Caligari is using him to carry out his carnal desires. The story is about Alan's attempts to catch Caligari and the somnambulist, Cesare, before they can act again. The whole movie is shot in expressionism, (Think downtown in Monkeybone) where the madness of the situation is expressed through the environment. There is a great twist at the end that makes you analyze the whole movie again.
  It's a movie that might be worth a rent, but probably not a buy. (Well, its worth a rent if you're willing to endure no dialogue and crazy sets. Most people wouldn't sit through this movie however.)
  It also arrived on the same day as The Golem. It's another silent, German film. It's pretty straight forward. And it was pretty much the story that I had heard. I wish there were more Golem resources out there. I keep getting this idea that there are more golem stories out there that we aren't getting.
  Man builds golem (robot). Places words (software) inside that animate the golem. The golem experiences life (Johnny 5), goes crazy (HAL), and rebels against man (Terminator, Frankenstein, Pokemon, whatever). It's a pretty simple story that a lot of sci-fi stories seem to follow. (Much in the same way that A Bug's Life is just a retelling of Seven Samurai.)
  I would like to learn more about golems. All I can seem to find is the one story and a lot of links to The Lord Of The Rings. Of course that's Gollum, but that doesn't matter to the search engines.
  If anybody knows any good golem stories, I'd appreciate it.
  I don't have much else to say, but here are some links that I have been meaning to put up. Go try them out. They are pretty random...
  A baby name wizard. (Try looking for boys named Susan. Seriously! They exist.)
  NetLingo's dictionary
  Trogdor! (Where I spend too much time.)
  Bonsai Kitten (Not for people who thinks it is real.)
  And a tirade that hits close to home. (This one has cursing in it folks. And some crazy person writing it.)

  So I went to my interview yesterday. The girl was thinking that she had a forklift job lined up for me, but the truth is that she didn't. She hasn't a clue as to what the different types of forklift are. She was thinking that she could get me a forklift job at Waldenbooks. Then her boss came and asked me some questions. When she found out that I had never driven a cherry picker, what they primarily use at Waldenbooks, my forklift job went right out the window.
  But I still have a job. I get to work second shift. I'm glad that I didn't get first shift so that I can still go to tax auctions. I'm going to be working in the calendar section which tells me one thing. I need to bust my hump and make sure that I get to keep this job. Nobody buys calendars in February. I'll need to get moved somewhere else.
  Of course, Waldenbooks is a pretty good job. A couple of my father's friends work there. Also, I know this guy that used to work there and if that schmuck can do the job, then I can too. (I'm not sure why he doesn't work there anymore. He had a really bad attendance problem when I knew him and he told me one time when stole from the company.) Anyway, I start on Sunday night. I'll be working 5 to 3:30. Do the math baybee. Four ten hour shifts! That's a three day weekend. I hope that this job turns out to be a pretty good workout. It's good to bust your hump for a living. It wears you out, but at least you get the feeling that you accomplished something. I'll take a dirty hot warehouse over an office job any day. (Plus the little kid in me kind of enjoys getting dirty.)
  I got to the auction yesterday too late to get my number. No number means no bidding. Of course, no money also means no bidding. So, it would have been for show anyway. I saw one of the other guys there watching me. He was probably wondering where I had been. I'm not sure that I have ever seen that guy buy anything. I've seen him bid, but never actually seen him buy anything.
  I went back to the temp agency afterwards for my orientation and drug test. Then I had to drive to another building for my photo ID. The lady there said that she would see me on Friday. For some reason she looked familiar. I don't think that I have ever actually met her. I don't know. Maybe she has just one of those faces. (Kind of like the fact that all us bald guys kind of look alike.)
  I got to speak to an old friend last night. She called me, and I talked to her for about an hour. She was trying to get my e-mail address. She's pretty cool. She was talking about moving back to Tennessee. Her family is in Fayetteville. I wish I could say more about her, but truthfully, our conversations never really seem to run much deeper than movies. She ought to be a blond. She's pretty cool though. I guess I shouldn't analyze a friendship too much. It's good to have someone to shoot the breeze with, even if the breeze is not much more than movies.
  Then while I was getting offline, I saw another Kat online. I IM'ed her for about an hour. It's been a year since I have actually seen her. Kat's a teacher in the next county. I caught up on what she was doing. I told her about my jobs that I had been working. She said that even though that she is a teacher, she still has to go in almost every week during the summer. I could imagine a bit before or afterwards, but the whole summer?
  Anyway, the next auction is on August 17th. I'll fix the side bar there eventually. However right now, I'm going to hit the treadmill. Later folks.

  What a day it has been. It's only half over and I've had a pretty full day. Today started with sleeping in. I went to see Land Of The Dead last night. Not even that late. The problem was the game that the movie seemed to be playing. It was the game of "Let's see what kind of screwed up things that we can reveal about the zombies."
  To kill a zombie you either beat it in the head of burn it. If you remove the head, is the zombie still alive? What happens if you only partially remove the head? Can zombies swim? Does an electric fence stop a zombie? Can a zombie use weapons? Do the zombies communicate? Will the zombies eat their own flesh? Will zombies eat animals?
  All these mysteries led to some pretty messed up dreams last night. I dreamt that I saw some people still alive even though they were just heads in plastic bags. Of course, when I lifted the bags the twist at the bottom came undone and the brains and stuff just floated around freely in the bags. The people then died. (Or did they?) I'm not really sure why I was a superhero in this dream, or why one of the heads was Jean Luc Picard. That's just random screwiness.
  The question begs to be asked. If I remove a zombie brain from a zombie, would it still be alive? Then could I move it to another body and have it take over that body?
  So anyway, I went and filled out an application for Waldenbooks today. After my father's funeral, a friend told me that I should go to work there. I told him that I would consider it. Of course, he could never find my application. The problem is that I put my application into Ingram. (What are the odds of two book warehouses in the same county? Much less than them actually being side by side.) I've got an appointment at nine in the morning.
  I then went to the post office to pick up some certified mail that I had missed some how. I was really geeked out hoping that it had something to do with me getting paid on the house that I never owned. It turns out that it was about a hit and run.
  I bought a new car last year. It's why I haven't had any money to buy any houses in a while. (And won't for a while.) I bought a Toyota Echo. (36 MPG! Can I get an woot woot?) I haven driven the old Ruther-Ford for a while. Yes, that was its name. Anyway, when the Probe quit running last year, I called various junk yards to see if any of them wanted. The best deal I got was that they would haul it off for free. I guess somebody got it running and/or stole it. They hit something/someone in Nashville and now the impound lot has to contact me to see if I want it back. I told them that I signed the title over and they could auction it off for all I cared. I asked if they were going to auction it off online. They said yes. I told them that I would watch it out of curiosity. They took down my info and assured me that I would not be arrested. I told them that if they needed a statement from me, then I'd fill one out.
  Just in case you want to see it as well, the suction site is here. The crazy thing is that I got confused. There are two junkyards side by side in Lavergne and I went to the wrong one. The other one said that they would have gladly taken it. The problem was that they weren't in the yellow pages. So what have we learned here? It pays to advertise.

  You know, one day I won't be around for all you people to make fun of and kick around. No, one day I'll be gone just like ol' Dick Nixon. However, before I do, I thought I would share with you all of the great bits of advice that I have come across in my short time upon this planet.

• Be good. If you can't be good, then be good at it.
  
• Cheese should only to be inserted into the body one way.
  
• Don't sweat the petty things. Do pet the sweaty things.
  
• If at first you don't succeed, cover up any evidence that shows you ever tried.
  
• If at first you can't spell it, think of a homonym.
  
• Bologna is good for you.
  
• Everybody needs a hole in their head no matter how that old saying goes. Without it, they couldn't eat or breath. Or stick cheese in the wrong way.
  
• There is something that you love better than me. It's the red earth of Tara.
  
• When trying to keep warm in the cold. Put plastic bags around your feet on the INSIDE of your shoes because if you put it on the OUTSIDE of your shoes you keep falling down for lack of traction.
  
• Any time is a good time for pie.
  
• When you grab life by the balls, wash your hands afterwards.
  
• If you ever need the proof that people are the same all over the world, look at the sandwich. Everybody has some kind of meat wrapped in bread.
  
• Don't mention the socks.
  
• I before E except after C. Unless it sounds like an A, as in neighbor or weigh. (I quote this one almost weekly considering that my middle name still defies it.)
  
• Hot dogs are better with mustard.
  
• God made dirt and dirt don't hurt.
  
• No one likes a wise guy. Or a whistler.
  
• Jalapenos must be cooked on the pizza. It enhance their flavor. Just like green olives.
  
• Do not shun chocolate because of what it is. It is just sweet, innocent chocolate. Chocolate just wants to be loved.
  
• Spell check should qualify as proof for intelligent design. Unfortunately, the English language is proof against it.
  
• No matter how many times mankind proves you wrong. People should still be trusted. (But never more than twice.)

  Feel free to add your own. I'm sure that if I sat here, I could think of more, but I'm tired of writing now.

  I have been wandering around blogger a lot lately. My list of blogs to the right has been reduced to two. The thing about blogger is this. Anybody can do it. The undedicated, indecisive, uneducated masses. So therefore it's hard to find some one to stick to it. It's harder to find one that decides that they want to stick to it. That is, of course, that they can figure it out. My links list have been reduced to two. Big Stupid Tommy and The Evil Hippy. Both of who greatly inspired me to create this blog. The thing is that by the time that I find a blog I am interested in, they either quit blogging by time that I get around to them or quit shortly there after. So, I'm in the method of shopping around for some more links. This is however not an open invitation.
  It however really annoys me when I find this or this. (Although I am upset over that second one, I am impressed with the idea. I would have never thought of that. I could use the idea to my advantage to promote my preaching of the tax deeds.)
  Are you heavily into Ebay? A friend called me yesterday. Well, I say friend, but the only time I ever hear from him is when he needs something. A couple of weeks ago, he needed his new computer hooked up to the intranets. I say "his new computer" but really it's his sister-in-law's old Windows ME computer with the cd-rom, 64 meg, and 766 mghz processor. Of course, it's got a 20 gig hard drive. I have that now and think that's absurd. Once you get that much on your hard drive, you start to forget what's there. Or I do. Anyway...
  Somehow he had a bid placed on Ebay that he knew nothing about. He claims that. I help him contact the seller to have the bid retracted. It was some Earnhardt Jr. painting. He was winning it at 304 dollars. Of course, Ignorant was going to win no matter what. He had a maximum bid of 1200 dollars. If that painting goes for 1200 dollars, then I am in the wrong business. The seller removed his bid and didn't even ding him on his reputation. The seller is cool and deserves respect for it. He could have stuck it to Ignorant. Of course, without Ignorant's bid, the painting went back down to 22 dollars.
  My guess is that Ignorant tried to bid 12 dollars and then forgot the decimal point. I helped him bid on a car to show him how the whole process worked. Of course, we found something he was certain to be outbid on. So he never actually won a bid. That maximum bid option on Ebay is dangerous. It can run the price up pretty dang quick in a few hours. I guess that's how sniping works.
  I also found where he had tried to download some screensavers. He got several programs which were highly suspicious and lost his home page. I installed the free version of Ad Aware and told him to run it once a week. I hope he does. Of course, if he does, then he won't know what to do if he finds some viruses. I also tried to find a firewall, but couldn't. I didn't really look that hard though. I'm sure I'll be over there every week to help him with something new.
  The last time he had a computer, I found three phone dialers on it. I turned to him and said, "I don't think you need to 'Download free porn now.' If you do, then I could recommend some better sites than this one." I can't wait until he gets the concept of using one of those phone dialers. He didn't get the concept of turning the computer off when he's not using it until last week.
  On another note, I forgot that this weekend is Uncle Dave Macon Days. If you're in Murfreesboro, then you probably know it. You can probably hear the banjos where you are. Of course, if you're near only near Murfreesboro, then you still have time to get there. I think that I might swing by Fairview and pick up MeMa. I took her to UDMD one time and there was a display of antique cars. She asked me if "this car was an antique?" I told her that it must be because it was older than her. I saw one lady start laughing at that one. Then after she had read the sign, she stated that car was not older than her because she was born in 24 and it was made in 25. The lady started laughing so hard that she had to leave the building. Then MeMa started telling me about her father's cars. It was great day and I wish that I had my recorder then.

  A thought occurred to me last night about Buddhism. I'm not really sure where it came from. It was actually a dream. I was thinking about golems before bed and how they relate to our robot stories of today. I was watching I, Robot again. Every time I watch that movie I wonder how many of our beloved sci-fi stories are just golem stories retold. Eventually, I'll try to get around to reading some golem stories, but for now, I'll just wander around on the web. What was this post about again?
  Buddhism has Four Noble Truths. (Noble is not an opinion on my part. That's just what they are called. Although I'll admit they're pretty decent.)

• Dukkha: Life is suffering. Birth, death, breathing, diseases. Everything leads to suffering.
  
• Samudaya: The cause of suffering is attachment or desire. The more you want and have, the more you will hurt.
  
• Nirodha: The way to relieve suffering is to detach yourself from worldly things. Sell your DVD collection.
  
• Marga: There is a way to escape the pain. It is the Noble Eightfold Path.

  Now the eightfold path is of course the next great step in Buddhism. Much like any other great self help book, the answer is not easy. No you have to buy into the next step. Once you are done with the right understanding, thought, speech, et cetera, you find out that the eighth step leads to another set of rules. It seems that the ultimate tenet of Buddhism is to give up attaining the role of Buddha itself. Sure, it hurts a little to give up on your life goal, but isn't that what life is all about?
  The thought that occurred to me is this. Nothing is more anti-Buddhist than the Trix Rabbit. He suffers the desire of Trix Cereal. He tries to take what is not offered. His whole life is about his inability to obtain the cereal. It leads to much suffering and amusement. We as kids laughed at the rabbit and violated a rule as well. We aren't supposed to harm others.
  Cereal commercials are good about this. Lucky the leprechaun fights to keep his cereal. Cookie Crisp is stolen all the time. That Froot Loops toucan is always trying to keep his nephews away. The only redeeming person seems to be Tony The Tiger. He just tells us "They're great!" Relatively speaking, they are pretty healthy.
  I'm not really sure why this was such a mind altering thought. It was a dream that I had, and it stuck in my head well enough that I can write about it several hours later. It seems that Buddhism seems to make a lot more sense now. Thanks to Wikipedia and early Saturday morning cartoons.

  I went to see Batman Begin last night and there was a trailer for Dukes Of Hazzard shown before the movie. Last night I actually had a dream about the Dukes Of Hazzard. I was one of three sons that had been kidnapped and hidden in an abandoned house. The house was abandoned because it was supposed to be haunted. I even found the sales contract that said that "this contract may not be voided and/or the sale rescinded for any appearances of any spooks, apparitions, ghosts, hauntings, or lattes." I'm not sure what a latte has to do with hauntings. I figured that this being some back water burg in Hazzard County, that was probably a typo.
  One of my younger brother's even asked if I had tried to call the police. The kidnapper, who was taking a shower at the time, overheard us. He shouted out to us that he had thought of that. He had called the sheriff's department and the operator asked if he wanted to speak to "Boss Hogg, who happens to be at home, Roscoe P. Coltrane, who is at his mom's house, Cletus, who just ran down to the post office, or Enos Strate, whomever that is, who happens to be at the diner. I figure that any law force that disorganized was nothing to worry about."
  Eventually due to some freak accidents (possibly ghosts) some vehicles crashed into the house and tore it apart. It managed to get my brothers and I noticed and we escaped the kidnappers.
  I hate it when I dream in sitcoms.

  This weekends selection from Netflix is quite the doozy. I rented Ben-Hur, Stalag 17, Metropolis (2002).
  First off, let me get Ben_Hur out of the way. I have no idea what's going on in this movie. Oh, I have a basic idea of the plot. It's about this Jew in the time of Christ. He winds up getting put into slavery by an old Roman friend and vows revenge. He works his way through the Roman navy and becomes a chariot racer. He eventually races his old friend who winds up being injured in the race. Then it carries on some more with Ben-Hur's eventual freedom and the death of Christ.
  You know what? I didn't watch half of this movie. It's pretty long and drawn out. I will be returning this movie mostly unwatched. Charlton Heston is good in Planet of the Apes. He makes a pretty good Moses. I guess those movies have more than just his acting. All I know is that I can't try to watch it again. I'm done. I'm sending it back.
  The next movie was Stalag 17. What a movie. It's hard to believe this movie came from the same director as Some Like It Hot. Don't me wrong. Billy Wilder is a great guy. Some Like It Hot is a great movie. Really funny. Classic comedy. Everybody should see it. Stalag 17 is a completely different movie.
  It was recommended to me as the movie that Hogan's Heroes is based on. Of course, that's not true. It's kind of an insult to say so. Hogan's Heroes was a comedy. Very good at what it was, but it was nothing like Stalag 17. I was sucked in to Stalag 17 trying to find the mole. It's about a Nazi prison, in which the guys keep trying to escape. Unfortunately, every plan they have is foiled. It seems that there is a mole in Stalag 17. The mole tells the Nazis about how one of the new members blew up a munitions train. The whole movie is about them trying to find the mole and rescue one of their own from certain death. It's a good movie.
  Metropolis is the great movie. I have never had a taste for anime. It's always appeared to eye candy. This movie is completely different. Well, not completely. It's still got a lot of eye candy. Not, that I have anything wrong with eye candy. I like a good looking film, but when it has a poor plot, it's pointless. I guess I can't enjoy it for art's sake. I don't know. A painting is nice, but this isn't a paining. It's a movie. Movies have sound and, most of the time, a plot. I can't stand a movie that is just eye candy.
  Of course, Metropolis is different. The writer was inspired for the visuals after seeing a poster of Metropolis 1927). I'm a big fan of the original Metropolis. It's great. This new Metropolis is just as great. It's got great visuals, plot, and music. As matter of fact the best part of the movie is when the Ray Charles song kicks in.
  I've seen this movie in the store and have been intrigued by it. I've even pulled it off the shelf and looked at it a few times. My taste for anime has always made me put it back. Always. I think that I will have to buy this. I recommend it highly.
  This Netflix thing was supposed to save me money. I would rent that I was thinking of buying. If they were crap, then that would save me some money. Of course, I didn't figure for all the movies that I never thought of buying before. At least, I am getting some culture out of it.

  So last year after mad cow disease showed up, I was pretty pissed off. The beef industry had tried to sue Oprah over saying years ago that it was a very scary time to eat beef. Of course, she won. She is allowed to express her opinion. Of course, the best way to prove her wrong is to keep mad cow disease out of the US. Of course, in December of 2003 one showed up. We were told that it was from Canada. We were told that we still had nothing to worry about. We were told almost anything.
  Of course, I decided that last year's new years resolution was to quit eating beef. I did a pretty good job I thought. I only ate beef knowingly 14 times. (You can't blame a brother when he doesn't know it.) Some of those times were times that I would end up getting foods that might have contained beef. I wasn't sure, but I counted them anyway.
  This year, I decided to give the beef industry a break. I am eating beef one day a week. Typically, that day has been Saturday. Of course, I have been more generous than expected. I have been eating beef twice on Saturday. Yesterday, I ate at Sonic and Pawbowskys.
  Pawbowskys is a hot dog joint here in the 'boro on Church Street. They have a hot dog called the Fire Dog. It has peppers cooked inside the dog and, if that wasn't enough, they put peppers and a spicy salsa on top of it. It's pretty dang good. If I eat two of them though, they burn on the way out.
  Well, I had a Fire Dog, Kraut Dog, and some chili cheese fries. That will be my last beef meal this year. I am once again going bovitarian. I have been thinking about this since that Mad Cow came out a few weeks ago. I even waited for more news to come out about it. Of course, it never had a chance to enter the food chain. We have nothing to worry about. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda.
  So I'm done for the year. No more beef. Except for August 13. I've got a family reunion to attend. The standard fare will be dogs and burgers. Then I will eat so that the family doesn't think me a s strange. That's it until next year.
  Although, I have become recently aware of a company called Laura's Lean Beef. I might just start eating their beef. They do claim that they are not turning cows into cannibals. Of course, a way around that is to feed the cow parts to chickens, and then feed chicken parts to cows. Of course, Laura's Lean Beef feeds it's cows no animal parts. As a matter of fact, they don't even give their cows antibiotics or hormones. Seriously, go check out there site.

  When Cameron was in Egypt land...
  Let my Cameron go.

 

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