Gunny Walker

  Really tired today for some reason. Probably because I did not sleep well today. So today's happiness for the day should be really corny jokes, but I am going to have to go with listening to Dan Baird's Love Songs for the Hearing Impaired. You probably know it. Let me post some of the lyrics.

Hey, back when I was going to school,
I never learned a thing
All I did was daydream
And wait for the bell to ring.
I had a certain teacher.
I always tried to impress her.
When she stood up in the classroom,
I would mentally undress her.
Then one day I decided
That I would write a little letter.
She said the spelling was a masterpiece.
The punctuation could be better.
I understood what she was saying.
I got the gist of her sentiment.
She said, "I don't mean to be degrading,
But here's the way that it should have went..."

I love you period
Do you love me question mark
Please please exclamation point
I wanna hold you in parentheses

  Of course, it's southern rock. It should be played loudly and sung badly. It was a song that I remember well because it reminded me of my HS English teacher, Ms Walker. Who coincidentally was pretty hot. (No relation, sicko.)
  Of course, the whole album has pretty funny lyrics. And probably musical qualities that would be regarded as sacrilegious by some one who knows how to play the instruments in the song. I would also like to include lyrics from the other great song from the album. The title is, well, I'll not give the surprise away...

I did not go to church last Sunday
Cause my sins I need not confess.
With your daddy standing at the pulpit,
I just figured staying home was best.
Your physique is swelling,
And your waist line is telling.
Everybody knows that it's mine.
I guess the word's got around
in this one story town,
And your preacher daddy, he's ain't blind.

Oh, you got knocked up,
and I got locked up.
I guess you'd say that we both got screwed.
You got locked out,
And I got knocked out,
And I guess you're going to miss a lotta school.

  That's all I'll post. I just find these so funny, that I felt that it was my responsibility to share these lyrics with world. Got to go to work now. Later.
(In motherland Russia, you don't post lyrics, lyrics post you.)