Sunday, November 28, 2004
"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."
Emma Lazarus
And after they get here, you tell them to call me at Dell.
I swear that there must be a sign on the Ellis Island advertising Dell. More than half of the people to whom I spoke today were immigrants. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just don't be surprised if I have trouble understanding your accent. I'm southern. I'll understand if my accent causes you problems, and please don't get upset if I ask you to spell Dobovich.
Not all of the annoying people were immigrants. Some of them were born here in the good old U. S. of A. It's amazing the way people freak out about things.
No, that $350 computer can not be upgraded. At all. That's right it doesn't come with speakers. Why? Cause it's just a $350 dollar computer. No, there is no floppy drive. I don't think that any of our computers have them standard. If you feel that you can get by with 256 MB then good for you, but I can tell you right now, that's not enough to run wifi. No, I'm not certain of that, but what do you expect for a computer with only a ninety day warranty. We can't put the full four year warranty on this one. Dell won't let me. Know why? In four years this thing will be weaker than a Tickle-Me-Elmo.
Yes, I recommend that you get the four year warranty. That's what I am paid to do. If you didn't want me suggesting stuff, why did you call. You can shop online without me hassling you for a surge protector.
I can not give you a quote without building a customer profile. That means that I need your phone number, name, and address. If you don't trust me with those, then how can you trust me with a credit card number if you buy today? (The truth is that you aren't buying today, and I know it. You just want a quote.) That's right. I can't build a quote without that information. I can guess, but I may still be wrong.
The deal is that it's a free printer. Look. You get what you pay for, okay? It's free. I don't know the value. No, it's not one we sell. Ever. Even individually. No, I don't know what it's worth. It's free. Of course, it does not come with a USB cable. Printers you pay for do not come with them. Do you expect better from a free one? I'm sorry that you feel like you are getting nickeled and dimed, but what did you expect for a $600 laptop?
Of course, you don't want to finance this computer. Let me ask anyway. This is my job. I don't want any crap over this.
It's amazing what people expect to get for less than my last set of tires. Of course, the cream of the crop was the guy that wanted me to ship the computer to Poland. We can't do that. Call the Polish Dell.
Of course, even with all this aggravation, I am getting better. While in training, I spent six hours on the phone. Today, I spent seven hours on the phone. I took about the same number of calls. In training, I sold three computers and had to have help with two of those. Today, I sold six all by myself.
Of course, being that they were cheap computers, I didn't make much commission, but I am getting better. I just still can't believe how much people complain that they have to buy a cable to work their FREE printer. Of course, imagine how upset that they would be if I told them that free printer was going to cost them twice as much in the long run.
Later folks. If you can't be good, be good at it.
Emma Lazarus
And after they get here, you tell them to call me at Dell.
I swear that there must be a sign on the Ellis Island advertising Dell. More than half of the people to whom I spoke today were immigrants. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just don't be surprised if I have trouble understanding your accent. I'm southern. I'll understand if my accent causes you problems, and please don't get upset if I ask you to spell Dobovich.
Not all of the annoying people were immigrants. Some of them were born here in the good old U. S. of A. It's amazing the way people freak out about things.
No, that $350 computer can not be upgraded. At all. That's right it doesn't come with speakers. Why? Cause it's just a $350 dollar computer. No, there is no floppy drive. I don't think that any of our computers have them standard. If you feel that you can get by with 256 MB then good for you, but I can tell you right now, that's not enough to run wifi. No, I'm not certain of that, but what do you expect for a computer with only a ninety day warranty. We can't put the full four year warranty on this one. Dell won't let me. Know why? In four years this thing will be weaker than a Tickle-Me-Elmo.
Yes, I recommend that you get the four year warranty. That's what I am paid to do. If you didn't want me suggesting stuff, why did you call. You can shop online without me hassling you for a surge protector.
I can not give you a quote without building a customer profile. That means that I need your phone number, name, and address. If you don't trust me with those, then how can you trust me with a credit card number if you buy today? (The truth is that you aren't buying today, and I know it. You just want a quote.) That's right. I can't build a quote without that information. I can guess, but I may still be wrong.
The deal is that it's a free printer. Look. You get what you pay for, okay? It's free. I don't know the value. No, it's not one we sell. Ever. Even individually. No, I don't know what it's worth. It's free. Of course, it does not come with a USB cable. Printers you pay for do not come with them. Do you expect better from a free one? I'm sorry that you feel like you are getting nickeled and dimed, but what did you expect for a $600 laptop?
Of course, you don't want to finance this computer. Let me ask anyway. This is my job. I don't want any crap over this.
It's amazing what people expect to get for less than my last set of tires. Of course, the cream of the crop was the guy that wanted me to ship the computer to Poland. We can't do that. Call the Polish Dell.
Of course, even with all this aggravation, I am getting better. While in training, I spent six hours on the phone. Today, I spent seven hours on the phone. I took about the same number of calls. In training, I sold three computers and had to have help with two of those. Today, I sold six all by myself.
Of course, being that they were cheap computers, I didn't make much commission, but I am getting better. I just still can't believe how much people complain that they have to buy a cable to work their FREE printer. Of course, imagine how upset that they would be if I told them that free printer was going to cost them twice as much in the long run.
Later folks. If you can't be good, be good at it.
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