Wednesday, August 11, 2004
This is what I can't figure out about the terrorists. They like to hit things that are symbolic. We've been warned that something might happen during the Democratic and Republican National conventions. We've also been informed they might wish to cause a problem during this years election. They've also thought about hitting major financial institutions or symbols of American culture. They've considered the port of New Orleans, our busiest port, O'Hare Airport, busiest airport in the world, or Seattle's Space Needle. None of that stuff means much to me here in Tennessee.
All of these attempts show just how much terrorists know of American culture. What should they blow up? Britney Spears would make a good candidate. I know Michael Jordan has been out work for while, but he'd do. They could try to kill Barry Bonds, but if they want to strike American culture at it's heart, they need to hit a Wal-Mart.
That's right. I said a Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart is the largest corporation in the world. It does more business than a couple of our states, and nearly everybody in America shops there.
Remember how many people were afraid to fly after 9/11? Many people still are. Imagine if Wal-Mart had a drastic drop in business that lasted for three years after the attack. It would hurt the whole economy much worse than a couple of skyscrapers would.
Don't get me wrong. The whole skyscraper falling down thing was impressive, and it hurt all of us a lot. But there is a Wal-Mart in every county here in the south. Imagine if you hit just three or four buildings and it hurt business in every state.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't wish this sort of stuff on anyone. Terrorism is bad. Okay people? But if these guys were something to fear, wouldn't they know this stuff already? These are guys living in holes in the ground. They don't know the pleasures of being able to get a warm fleece comforter and a strawberry yogurt at three in the morning. It's great.
And that's the reason that they hate us so much. Because we feel that we are so important that we need to keep stores open 24 hours a day so that I can get a warm blanket and a strawberry yogurt at three in the morning.
Well, probably that and that we idolize that decadent Britney Spears too much.
All of these attempts show just how much terrorists know of American culture. What should they blow up? Britney Spears would make a good candidate. I know Michael Jordan has been out work for while, but he'd do. They could try to kill Barry Bonds, but if they want to strike American culture at it's heart, they need to hit a Wal-Mart.
That's right. I said a Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart is the largest corporation in the world. It does more business than a couple of our states, and nearly everybody in America shops there.
Remember how many people were afraid to fly after 9/11? Many people still are. Imagine if Wal-Mart had a drastic drop in business that lasted for three years after the attack. It would hurt the whole economy much worse than a couple of skyscrapers would.
Don't get me wrong. The whole skyscraper falling down thing was impressive, and it hurt all of us a lot. But there is a Wal-Mart in every county here in the south. Imagine if you hit just three or four buildings and it hurt business in every state.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't wish this sort of stuff on anyone. Terrorism is bad. Okay people? But if these guys were something to fear, wouldn't they know this stuff already? These are guys living in holes in the ground. They don't know the pleasures of being able to get a warm fleece comforter and a strawberry yogurt at three in the morning. It's great.
And that's the reason that they hate us so much. Because we feel that we are so important that we need to keep stores open 24 hours a day so that I can get a warm blanket and a strawberry yogurt at three in the morning.
Well, probably that and that we idolize that decadent Britney Spears too much.
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